How to Write a Memoir (for beginners)

Writing a memoir is at the top of many peoples to-do lists, and can be one of the most meaningful ways to preserve your life story for your children, grandchildren, and future generations, but starting it can feel surprisingly difficult. Where do you begin? What should you include? How do you organise your entire lifetime into chapters?

By the end of this article, you will hopefully realise that writing a memoir does not have to mean sitting down at a desk, putting a pen to paper and writing hundreds of pages from beginning to end. There are so many different ways to preserve your story and write a memoir, even as a beginner with no idea where to start. The most important thing is to tell it in a way that feels the most authentic to you.

1. Start with memories, not your entire life story

One of the biggest mistakes people make when setting out to write their memoir, is thinking they need to write their whole life chronologically, starting with where they were born and working forward. You don't have to. Start with the memories that immediately come to mind, your favourite life stories and wildest adventures. Any writer will tell you that the hardest thing is starting, so start with the stories that flow the most easily. You can fill in the rest later.

Some prompts to help get you started include:

• What was the wildest night of your life?

• How did you meet the love of your life, and what do you remember of your first interaction?

• What is the most memorable day you've had at work?

• What were your twenties like?

• What is your best travel story?

• What do you remember about your grandparents?

2. Use photographs to trigger memories

Old photographs can be incredibly useful when you don't know what to write about. Looking at a photograph can bring back details you haven't thought about for decades: who was there, what happened before or after the picture was taken, where you were living, or how you felt at the time.

Try laying several photographs in front of you and writing as much as you can about each of them. You don't even have to write about the photograph itself; use it as a doorway into the memories behind it.

For example, a section of photographs about your childhood could become an entire chapter about growing up in your hometown and who your best friends were. A series of holiday photographs could become a section about your favourite family trips, or the time your brother got told off by a police officer riding a camel for climbing up the Great Pyramids of Giza.

3. Consider recording yourself instead of writing

For many people, the hardest part of creating a memoir isn't remembering the stories. It's putting them into written words.

Talking about your life can feel much more natural than sitting down and trying to write about it. Having someone ask you questions, prompt your memories, and simply listen can help stories emerge that you might never think to put on paper yourself.

This is one of the ways Relative Memories helps families create memoirs. Rather than sitting down to plan out chapters, structure, and hundreds of pages of writing yourself, we can film a conversation with you about your life through a relaxed, professional interview, capturing stories naturally as you speak. This takes the time, and the stress, out of having to do everything yourself.

We can then turn your conversations into a written memoir using the words and stories you shared during your film. It means that you can concentrate on remembering and telling your stories, rather than worrying about what to write next.

The best part about a Relative Memories memoir is that not only will your family be able to read about your life, but your interview, photographs and stories can also be made into a documentary-style film, so your great-great grandchildren can see you smile, hear your voice and listen to your stories exactly as you tell them.

4. Don't be afraid to write about your feelings and opinions

Facts tell somebody what happened, by feelings help them understand what the experience was like and who you are as a person.

When describing an important event, think about how you felt before, during and afterwards. Were you nervous, excited, embarrassed, proud, frightened, etc? You can also write about how your opinions have changed over the years, and how certain stories and experiences changed your perspective and who you are as a person.

There's another prompt for you... What is the most life-altering event that has happened in your life? How did it change you as a person?

5. Think about who you are writing for

Your intended reader can influence what you choose to include. A memoir written mainly for your grandchildren might focus on family stories, life lessons, childhood memories and what everyday life was like when you were young. A memoir intended for a wider audience might focus more heavily on particular experiences, achievements or dramatic events in your life.

Thinking about whom you would like to eventually read your story can also help you decide which details need more explanation and which stories should be left out.

6. Leave some lessons and reflections for the next generation

A memoir doesn't have to simply document events and things that have happened in your life. You can also reflect on what you learned along the way.

What would you tell your younger self? What mistakes did you make? What are you most proud of, and what do you hope your family remembers about you?

These reflections can become some of the most valuable parts of a memoir because they preserve not only your experiences, but also the perspective and wisdom you gained from them.

Remember, you don't have to write your memoir alone

There is no single correct way to write a memoir. You can write it yourself, work with a professional writer, build it around photographs or simply start telling your story out loud.

For people who love the idea of having a memoir but don't enjoy writing, Relative Memories offers another approach. Instead of spending months thinking about the idea of writing and pondering on what you should say, give us a call to find out more about how we can preserve your life stories in a way your family will cherish forever.

Now you know how to write a memoir, even as a beginner! Goodluck.